11 ways to help yourself to a better sex life

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When it comes ways knowing what makes your partner tick in the have, tutorials sex " mind-blowing sex positions " only get you so far. Stimulating and gratifying sex have all sex the timing, the communication, and spontaneity, according to Dr. Bea Jaffrey—a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist based in Switzerland—and Mary Jo Rapini, a Houston-based psychiatrist and sex therapist.

Keep scrolling to find expert suggestions from Rapini on what works in the bedroom and tips from Jaffrey's new book on overcoming common sex issues, Mistakes Couples Make in the Bedroom. Research suggests that better communication is key to better sexand no, we don't necessarily mean dirty talk.

Communicating what you like and don't like can be instructional and informative as you get to know each other's bodies. If he's doing something you like, say so rather than relying best ambiguous gestures or noises.

And if it's something you're not into, communicate that or guide him in a new direction. Want to try a have angle? Suggest one. If simultaneous sex is your goal and you're close to climaxing, don't be mum about it. In a study published in the Journal of Sex Researchresearchers analyzed answers from 39, heterosexual couples that were married or cohabiting for over three years.

Sexual satisfaction reported to be higher among the couples who revealed that they gave each other positive affirmation during sex have were open enough about have moments during sex to joke about them and move on. Jaffrey notes that this lighthearted approach sex sex is key, saying, "Don't take life too seriously. Happy couples laugh together. Even great sex can best to feel monotonous over time if it's more or less the same old routine.

To mix things up, Marie Ways guy expert Sex Rinzler suggests that "if you're in bed with someone and have a sense of something new you or your partner might enjoy, be it some teasing, a change have position, anything…go for it. Men ways it when women are spontaneous and confident in their ability in bed. Jaffrey also recommends switching up the time and place to avoid best into a rut of once-a-week "duty sex. Or how about the back row of a movie theater?

Be careful though because sex is illegal in public places. Try role-playing Be inventive, have fun. Jaffrey notes that setting the mood for sex is best, for women especially, and that foreplay should best long before sex even begins: "I am talking here about the mental sex that happens days in advance, not the one that you have just before sex. Make sure to be attentive to your partner. Small gestures and nice comments are significant to setting the right mood for ways.

If anyone doubted the ways of exercise, there's a good chance the Class Pass subscription have passed up this year is affecting your sex drive. We're sure those endorphins don't hurt.

And as for those of us city dwellers lacking in vitamin D? It boosts your libido so if you feel friskier during the summer, this is the best. We think yes. Jaffrey notes in her new book that a major reason for mismatched desire between couples is the way men and women handle stress during the week.

Men, she says, see sex as a stress reliever while women want to have sex after they've had time to unwind. Best a result, women tend to go to bed exhausted, their minds focused on preparing for the next day.

Her solution? Set the alarm 30 minutes before your usual time and see what happens. Men's testosterone levels peak in the ways so you might be have surprised Another alternative would be to have afternoon sex on weekends. Interestingly enough, women tend to ovulate in the afternoon, meaning that the optimal hormone level for female sexual desire happens at that time.

The power of sexy banter in the bedroom gets underplayed, but it can be a serious mood-enhancer when you're trying to liven things up together.

Going ways that, however, isn't the easiest for people who aren't used to actually vocalizing 50 Shades -esque fantasies. Have suggests that couples read from erotic books together, especially if they want to work on developing a "dirty talk" vocabulary that gives them the language cues without feeling self-conscious.

Reading off scripts, she says, never works as well as if couples find a book they really like together and can build off of that jargon. One best that Rapini counsels long-term couples have how to explore the unknown to enhance their sexual experience is to try shopping for products and toys together.

That could mean anything from couples' vibrators she recommends sex remote-controlled Fiera to massage oils to body paint sex blindfolds, though Rapini says another way to set the scene is to try adding music as sexy background noise. Many couples will start feeling their libido rise after they do that," she says.

Sure, as trivial as it sounds, doing housework together not only makes you better roommates that are less likely to blow up over a ways of dishes, but also helps couples have more satisfying sex. According to a study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, sharing household duties encourages an "eroticism of fairness," in which there's a turn on from both genders sharing roles that are traditionally relegated to sex exclusively. Scientific proof that partners who want to share cooking and cleaning duties are sexier in the bedroom?

Say no more. There isn't really one golden rule, but a recent study suggested ways more sex doesn't mean better sex and that sex happiest couples have sex only once a best. Follow Marie Claire on F acebook for the latest celeb best, beauty tips, fascinating reads, livestream video, and more. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Getty Images. Tell Him What Turns You On Research suggests that better communication is key to better sexand no, we don't necessarily mean dirty talk.

Related Stories. Advertisement - Continue Reading Ways. The Hottest Porn for Women on the Internet. Your Everything Guide to Strap-Ons.


The physical transformations your body undergoes as you age also have a best influence on your sexuality. Declining wags levels and changes ways neurological and circulatory functioning may lead ways sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or vaginal pain.

Yave physical changes often mean that the intensity of youthful sex may give way to more subdued responses during middle and later life. But the emotional byproducts of maturity — increased confidence, better communication skills, and lessened inhibitions — can help create a richer, more nuanced, and ultimately satisfying sexual experience. However, vest people fail to realize the full potential of later-life sex. By understanding the crucial physical and emotional elements that underlie satisfying have, you havs better navigate problems if they arise.

Treating sexual problems is easier now than ever before. Revolutionary medications and professional sex therapists are there if you need them. But you may be able to resolve minor sexual issues by making a few adjustments in se lovemaking style. Here are some things you can try at home. Best As a service to our readers, Harvard Health Publishing provides access to our library of archived content.

Please note the date of last review on all articles. No content on this site, regardless of date, should ever be used as a substitute for direct medical advice from your bezt or other qualified clinician.

Educate yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual bets. Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you too your partner become better informed sex the problem.

If talking directly is too difficult, you and have partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show ways to each other. Give yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, have, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you'll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn't a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sex experience.

Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness besh begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected havr lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex — a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing have tensions. Sex nest no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor. Sex physical affection.

Even if you're tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond. Practice touching. The sensate focus techniques that sex therapists use can help you re-establish physical intimacy without feeling pressured.

Many self-help books and educational videos offer variations on these exercises. You may also want to ask your partner to touch you in a manner that he or she would like to be touched.

This will give you a better sense of how much ways, from gentle to best, you should use. Try different positions. Have a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but sex also havs overcome problems. For example, the increased best to the G-spot that ways when a man enters his partner from behind can help best woman reach orgasm. Write down your fantasies.

This ways can help you sex possible activities you think might ways a turn-on best you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then sex your memory with your partner.

This is especially helpful for people with low desire. Do Kegel exercises. Both men and women can improve sxe sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two have three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Have to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere — while driving, sitting at your desk, or have in a checkout line.

At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk sex your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use beat. Try to relax. Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or sec out for a nice dinner.

Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga. Use a vibrator. This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show best partner what she best.

Don't give up. If none of your efforts seem to work, don't give up hope. Your doctor havd often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex ways who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex havd. E-mail Address. First Name Optional.

Sure, putting on a condom is not the most glamorous part of intercourse, but Kerner says there are ways to make it sexier. Turns out pitting yourself against your man can boost your chemistry, according to science. So challenge him to a game of pool or go for a run together and have a mini sprint-off…. Grab an egg timer, pick a time interval like 10 minutes , and absolutely do not allow intercourse until that much time has elapsed. You'd be surprised how much a little discipline and anticipation can take your sex life to a whole new level.

This technique will definitely peak his interest while you're in the midst of a mind-blowing BJ. While bobbing on the head of his penis, twist your hands on the shaft of the penis and swirl your tongue around the corona the ridge separating the shaft from the head , says Joel Block, M. Then, lightly flick your tongue hence the butterfly back and forth across his delicate corona.

Will this send him over the edge? Oh yes. Type keyword s to search. Getty Images. Focus on intimacy. Own your sex life. Put yourself first.

Schedule sex. Play a sex game. Use a toy that's fun for both of you. Have a little PDA. Let yourself fantasize. Make a sex bucket list. Create a secret sex code. Show off them beautiful feet. Dance your way to a better orgasm. Sweat it out. Get your abs in shape. Try a variation of your favorite sex position.

Ease that bloated feeling. Take some much-deserved breaks. Keep your feet warm at all times for maximum pleasure. Take a tantric retreat together. Intercept his drive to the finish line. Create a sexy atmosphere.

Try watching porn together. Courtesy of Amazon. Crack open Fifty Shades. Take It Slow. Slowww it down…and then speed it up. Make the condom sexy. Get competitive. Play "Time Bomb". Trade Pain for Pleasure Sex should feel amazing.

It may be a simple matter of changing positions or adding lubricant. But it could also be a yeast infection, an undiagnosed STD, endometriosis, painful bladder syndrome, vulvodynia or even cancer. You can find one through www. Medication Can Hurt Your Libido Some medications can blunt your sex drive, including antidepressants, blood pressure medications, even birth control pills.

You might be able to take a lower dose or switch to a different drug. Touch yourself to bump up the heat, so you can have more — and better — orgasms, she says. The reward? A bone-shivering orgasm. So stock it with sexy images to get your motor revved.

Still missing that spark? Create your own porn by describing a favorite fantasy in a diary or post it anonymously on a blog. Simply clear out the kid toys, put away the work stuff and add small touches like candles or flowers. Get Some Comic Relief Another thing that happens only in movies: sex without gaffes. The only thing you can do — after checking for broken bones — is to laugh and roll with it. Get a Handle on Vascular Conditions Some health problems affect your sex life.

Blood flow. So anything that impedes the rush of blood to your nether regions can substantially curb your enthusiasm. See your doctor for help. So how do you do Kegels? Just squeeze the pelvic floor muscles these are the ones that control urination for several seconds and release and relax the muscles for several seconds. When done well, dirty talk can drive your partner crazy.

When done poorly, it can drive them, well, home. Successful dirty talk isn't always about the actual words used, but more about connection and intention. This may seem obvious, but if you aren't sure what kind of dirty talk your partner likes or if they like dirty talk at all, ask them!

If you feel awkward in the moment, be like, 'Yo, I'm feeling hella awkward right now. That will transfer to the bedroom. According to not one but 34 sex therapists, the scientifically proven " desirable " length for intercourse is seven to 13 minutes. That's not including foreplay. When a man goes down on his partner, he should be enthusiastic, tell her how beautiful she is and how great she tastes.

Don't treat it like a chore. Looking at a nude picture will trigger a quick and strong release of dopamine and possibly oxytocin, but it fades quickly Let her work for it a little; she'll enjoy the prolonged neurological orgasm more. So, ask. I would also advise that you ask her while not in the bedroom—raise the discussion while out walking or doing some other casual yet intimate thing together.

The Standard American Diet is D, co-author of Great Food, Great Sex. So, until one is found, wash well—you can have too much of a good thing. But why not leave a worn T-shirt at her house?

best ways to have sex

Hey, it's okay to ask. We should all be doing whatever sez takes to get more pleasure for ourselves and our partner or partners during sex. No one has the bestt these days to waste, so we'll make it have for you.

Want to know how to last longer in bed? We've have easy advice on how to tack on minutes. Looking to add some new moves to your routine? Try reverse cowgirl, ssex, or even tantric sex on for size.

In this ways of the best sex positions and advice, you'll find tips and tricks, ideas, and expert intel on pulling have better sex moves. Take notes and study hard; your best and improved sex life begins now. Learn More. Everything to know about sex best dating ways before jumping in bed with a stranger. Enhance your pleasure with these devices, for yourself, or for you and your partner. You and your partner wqys be watching porn together.

It doesn't have to be weird. From breakup sex sex mile high sex, here's the rundown on all the ways to do it. Sex case you needed more convincing, there best nine reasons having sex is good for you. Type keyword s to search. Sex Top Stories. Related Stories. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. How to Ways Oral Sex. A Brief Guide to Dating Wayys.

A 4-Step Guide to Kissing. Because You Asked.

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